Last week I received a call from a very good friend of mine. After we caught up on life and family he told me about a young man that both he and I helped mentor some years back. He proceeded to tell me that this young man (who has only been married for a few years to a very beautiful wife) has been contemplating divorce. In fact, his wife had been thinking about the same thing about a year ago according to word my friend just received recently.

Pete (not his real name) was a very good kid, had pretty good grades and was a Christian. Our paths first crossed in the youth organization that I was part of at that time and we had been somewhat close for some years at that point. I use the word “somewhat” because besides all of his good qualities he was a very prideful young man that knew how to play the ‘good guy’ role pretty well (even though I could see right through it). It was this very pride that hindered him from dealing with some of the serious issues he had in his life at that time. Pride and laziness also kept this young man from finishing a promising tenure in college (he was not finished when I last talked to him as a a few years ago).

We eventually both ended up in Atlanta where we also attended the same church. During this time I got married and about a 4 or so years into my marriage I heard that he was getting married to a young lady that I had also known for a while (not as long as Pete). The church that we were part of at that time was a very young and trendy church mostly filled with folks either still in college or just getting out. Pete was a grown man now, so he really did not need the advice of a mentor (or anyone else for that matter) when it came to his decision to get married. Personally, my friend and I knew that he was not ready for the step but since our church at that time was into matching folks up, he had very little sound counseling.

The wedding was cute with plenty of music and dancing. But the whole time I was there I felt uneasy about the whole thing because I knew that both Pete and his new bride were not ready for such an important step. Since their wedding, that have given birth to one child.

The way my friend first heard about their some of their marital problems was by way of Pete’s wife who pulled him to the side at church and told him that she really needed someone to talk with Pete because he had been pulling away from her emotionally and it appeared that he was regressing back to some of his past bad habits. She also asked my friend to give me a call as well to see what I could do. My friend asked if others in the church had stepped to the plate to help Pete. She responded by saying that everyone else was too busy.

Eventually I am going to contact Pete–not to bash him and tell him that he is a screw up, but to remind him that he has a friend here on the West coast that loves him and has been praying for him. As for his marriage, I think we can get through this if he is willing to hear and apply some sound advice.

Take the life jacket, brah! Cause you need it.