The Black Informant

A simple doll test

This afternoon while I was working with our kids with their homework in my office, I asked my beautiful 6-year old daughter to come to my desk because I wanted to show her something. It was the picture you see to your left. I asked her “If I were to ask you which one you think is prettier, which one would you pick?” As the kool-aide smile on her face began to slowly grow, she pointed to the brown one. I asked her “Why?”. She simply replied “Because it is brown.”

Now I’m quite sure that if her choices was between a Sambo and Barbie doll, her choice would have been the other way around.

Bottom line, this all points back to self-esteem–something that my wife and I work hard at fortifying everyday in the lives of our children.

A little over a year ago, my daughter got the bright idea to grab some scissors and cut off a few of her little afro puffs. After my wife regained consciousness, her only option was to style our daughter’s hair into an mini afro that made her look like a boy (for you natural sistahs out there, her hair was too short to style it like an Angie Stone). We would add bright colored hair bands to make her feel pretty, but after a while the bands were not enough to convince her that she was a pretty girl. Oftentimes she would come home and tell either me or my wife that she wanted hair just like (insert White girl here). Why? Because at the time, most of the girls her age in our old neighborhood were either White or Hispanic.

As her father I did everything I possibly could to convince her that she was still pretty, but it just seemed like nothing would really stick. It wasn’t until my wife stepped in that she began to see herself and feel like a pretty young girl despite her hair. You see, my wife did things that as a man I could not do. Together they would do things like apply makeup, style each other’s hair, look through Black hair magazines, etc. While all my hugs, kisses and other forms of affirmation are always much needed ingredients, my wife influence here was very crucial.

Now don’t get me wrong here, my daughter still loves long hair (as just about every other woman out there). But she is very confident in herself without feeling that she has to be something else in order to be pretty.

Today she has enough hair on her head to wear it in braids. My afro picking days with her hair are over.